u cheatin on me?
if i did i would try to upgrade babe.
the #6 from wendy's when stoned is definitely better than sex. i dont care what anyone says.
they had a keg party to fund her abortion.
my fart just smelled so bad i acutally gagged
just because you are now my girlfriend does not mean you can text me nasty shit
Also, our mothers are placing bets on which of us will get pregnant first.
Okay, guy from work I want to fuck just told me he liked the font on my PowerPoint presentation. It is so on.
Make me proud, climb that corporate ladder.
I'll bring the barf blanket just in case.
I don't care how many kiddie pools are in our house. One is too many.
She's cheated on every boyfriend she's ever had with the same guy. She's like a slutty yo-yo.
I know. You don't know poor life choice until your sitting on the floor of a community bathroom waiting to vomit at 4 am
If you have a glass table... Put it up. I don't wanna hurt myself again, I just got my stitches out...
Okay. But I hope it isn't expensive lingerie. Because I'm ripping it off Hulk Hogan style.
There is nothing worse then the feeling after you've held in farts all night..
What's his name?
dont know if she was trying to start a lawnmower or jerk me off. still wasnt to bad though
They just canceled the season. It’s going to be harder to bang soccer moms this year
Randomize
