You know you think of me naked too
Not since I found Jesus
What are you talking about? And how drunk are you?
Both
I realized that I've made out with a different boy almost every time we've gone to mcgoreys....I don't need a boyfriend...I have that bar
this is ridiculous... i look like a white version of MC Hammer...
I was excited because I thought I didn't have to tell you about the crabs, but surprise! You got em!
I'm sitting on the patient chair, waiting for my vagina to be violated & "i don't want to miss a thing" has been playing on repeat. WHY IS THIS HAPPENING TO ME.
She gave 2 thumbs up when Nirvana came on the radio while blowing me in the bathroom
He said he wouldn't use a condom because he didn't want to kill anymore trees.
He once got bit in the face by a dog and still got laid the same night. He owns Memorial Day Weekend
If I get laid, we are framing that mattress and hanging it on the wall as the place we both lost our virginities.
It's like a teen mom casting at the Obgyn's office. I feel great about my positive life decisions.
I said that I'm avoiding parties and guys, and the freshman girl just laughed
This dudes playing guitar and singing outside our window and he's like "ravioli is beterrrrrrr than tortelliniIii cause tortelliniiii is shaped like fucking ears"
So I just got motorboated by my grandma…
million dollar idea: razor dispensers in bar bathrooms. your welcome, girls who didn't think they were getting laid tonight.
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