Don't be scared. It'll feel very good. And you'll be clean afterwards. I'm growling right now.
If they made snuggies with a sleeve for my morning wood, id consider buying one...
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like having to pee in a condom for my cousin so that he can pass a drug test.
Actions speak louder than pants.
She just ended a sentence with "and he doesn't even mind my herpes..."
She says I'm cute and I remind her of her brother. She's too hot to back out now. I don't know. I'm guna go for it.
she got to the point every few minutes she checked to see if her boobs were still there.
Why do I feel like the only way for this trip to end is alcohol poisoning?
I wound up running down the street in 12 degree weather in just my bra and then fell asleep cuddling my bottle. You tell me how last night went.
I just came so hard my hamstring felt like it was going to tear. I am also now a screamer
He yelled at me to keep it in my pants and I replied with I will fuck your roommate as much as I please. Oops
AND I woke up to eggs in my bra. Thanks Taco Cabana...
Last time I "ran into him" I ended up with the clap and had to explain why the ladder was missing from the garage.
It's okay to masturbate while watching the Comey testimony right?
I told him I might be pregnant and he said he'd buy me a test and a twix bar. I'm marrying him. Tomorrow.
Randomize
