you should wait a day or two to break up with your girlfriend
why?
so we can have sex in the meantime. It adds a little excitement.
I feel like tequila is Gods way of lighting my fuse to do something awesome
His sister just told me that she thinks i'm a stupid bitch and that by going thru with this I'm ruining his life.
sounds like a hell of a rehearsal dinner
Just got judged by the front desk clerk, 2 maids and a security guard at the Sheraton. I've decided to use this as a character building experience.
So hungover. They actually hid easter eggs around me.
he's speaking broken english and calling me isaac.. this is not the australian i ordered for a one nighter
i'll booty call him tonight after the radiohead concert, that way he can see his favorite band and his favorite vagina all in one night.
I ended up passing out on the shitter for like an hour with mcds smoothie all over my face
It is very possible that having sex with you just now just got me into Yale
Just realized I used a picture of my little sister to holler at a guy, only 3 months old and she's already my wingman.
So somehow today's lecture on the immune system turned into me having to stand up and explain female ejaculation to the class.
After sex he just told me I'm definitely pregnant and it's a girl. Should I run?
I even put my vibrators back in the bedroom instead of the coffee table. If that's not growing up then I don't know what is.
Where is everybody?
It's pretty much split between the strip club and jail.
I feel like him using the excuse "I'm not a fan of lying" to stop me from sleeping around is hypocritical since he's cheating on his wife with me.
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