you know what sucks? talking to chicks you dont want to have sex with
Ah that type of Dick. I think my phones trying to make me less of a whore by capitalizing Dick. That way it looks like I'm talking about a dude not penis
I don't think you'd be able to understand Inception if you weren't high...
I mean what are real friends for if they won't hold down your wedding dress to allow for a keg stand
She has a facebook friends list called oops. theres 33 people in it. she said its all the guys she regrets fucking.
You know the party was great when the birthday girl gets arrested
Was I really yelling "girls night" at random chicks before stealing and drinking all their shots?
The dopest dose you'll ever dose. I felt like an octopus all of thursday
What's the mantra for Sunday?
I will not have sex with him.
Well at least I still have a burrito in my pocket.
Not even official and he's cleaned my puke twice. His hotdog skills are an added bonus. I've got a keeper
I apparently pulled his dick out at the bar and started yelling "DICK PICS IN REAL LIFE!"
Thx for last night. I've never had so much fun while being told my life decisions are questionable at best.
My books smell like weed. What does that tell you about my college experience?
Thumbs up
I just fucked her boyfriend. Happy birthday, bitch.
Randomize
