Is drinking merlot and watching womens figure skating by myself gay?
do guys with small dicks even attempt to pursue romantic relationships?
My life has become a never ending game of 'illegal or just frowned upon?'
The only thing that made me get out of bed this morning was knowing that tonight, I don't plan on remembering what happened today
there's no excuse to just assume your pants won't be coming off for some reason or another. that's just irresponsible
I distinctly remember calling the anesthesiologist a "sneaky little bastard" directly to his face
Make the kitchen floor stop waving. Im trying to lay on it
I feel like he's mythological. Like you just had lunch with the Loch Ness Monster of hotness
I smoked that joint really fast and now I'm so high I'm crawling around on all 4 giving my dogs piggie back rides pretending its the macy day parade for dogs and I'm their giant human float.
No, just kidding. But your faith in me to throw a lesbian bridal shower makes me think I an pull it off. To the LGBT bar!
when the repo soundtrack came on in the middle of us having sex i realized it was about time that i clear out my itunes library
Good night I hope you dream about knitting and threesomes
That amount of times your family has seen my boobs is getting ridiculous.
Can you see if my straightener is in your refrigerator?
Yes. Its here..
this poor kid thinks hes going to have his first time with both of us
Randomize
