I just peed in my kitchenbs sinlk. New low- maybe. am i embarrassed? Not in the least
There is something about drinking on a golf course and getting with younger women that just really makes me feel at home.
it was like one of those moments where the couple runs together and kisses and everyone in the airport claps. but instead of clapping an indian guy walked by and said 'ahhhright! get some!'
My Vagina smells like Nemo again.
I just asked the dr if it was herpes while wearing my shirt from the strip club...
I told you to stay away from the strippers in Oklahoma
I'm doing lines by myself in the kitchen. I think your outside. yeah that's you. your naked.
You refused to get in the cab so we rock paper scissored to decide who walked you home and the fat guy was it. So don't blame your poor hook-up choice on me; it was all you.
Her eyebrows were plucked so thin that she had to have gonorrhea. Clean girls just don't pluck that way
I just contemplated drinking cheese dip. And by "contemplated," I mean "attempted and was forcibly stopped from."
Remember last time I drank with my mom? I asked if I got my dick sucking abilities from her.
So I bring Danny back to the apartment for the first time and my roommate is curled up in the beanbag in the middle of the floor, wearing nothing but her uggs, high out of her mind and watching Harry potter... She offered us kettle corn.
He asked if he could come over tomorrow....
You ruined a cute cat because your lack of horniness
I only spent $42 at the bar last night, it's some sort of miracle.
you do remember it was dollar beer night, right?
That answers my next five questions
If you don't respond in the next 30min, I'm going to assume your in a sex coma, in jail, or dead... All of which I've become accustomed to, and will follow the appropriate channels of notification once you notify me.
I'm not too sure what happened last night, but by the looks of it, we must have gotten drunk with zebras.
Randomize
