What are you talking about? And how drunk are you?
Both
Is it weird that I found myself thinking of that blue chick from Avatar while she gave me head after the movie?
The good thing about having holes in your nose from all the drugs you do is that you can't smell nasty things. Like puke.
No no don't get confused. We do chemistry homework on Thursdays. We screw on Fridays. Other than that, Words With Friends is our only communication five days a week. We are NOT dating.
Bartender just fed me brownie. Its going to be a good night
Way to ruin everything
I am drinking jager with a cat, your argument is invalid
He taught me where the gears in a five speed are with his penis.
Do you have any pics of the gummy penis incident?
hotboxing with the ex-bf's two most recent hookups. they just realized they're eskimo sisters with his best friend. this is what happens when I come home for Christmas.
I can't relate, I like my boobs roaming free like a wild animal, and I occasionally let them devour small children
You know i love you, but i just cannot fuck you until your eyebrow grows back. It's too hard not to laugh.
If you don't see me at the bar tomorrow night, I was most likely captured by the communists.
think before you get married my friend it's my birthday and just got done jacking off
It was great. Somehow, sleeping with her sister cured everything!
You smell like a steam boat captain.
Whatever your on right now, I want.
Randomize
