just do it
fine only cuz shes asian
i realized my work ethic and productivity really improves if i masturbate on my lunch break.
so when I got there he was dressed as jesus in a recliner drinking whiskey out of the bottle watching spanish porn. Then kept shouting dont judge me or ill judge you. we didn't even go to a halloween party.
i think beer pong is the only time ive ever found a use for geometry
you just started pointing at the light and whispering "star wars"
She's in the middle of blacking out but is singing Mariah carey songs. Hitting every note.
I'm gonna need you to NOT let me play duck duck goose with three racoons in the middle of the street next time.
When I told her that her boyfriend was making out with another chick, all she said was "which one"
i swear to god. if they dont have practically DTF written on their foreheads, or a glowstick in their hands, strictly no entry.
Mystery lines found in a Pyrex dish in the back of my pantry at 415 am. No recall as to it's origin. Unidentifiable taste. Obviously I'm doing them
When did you hit me on the head with a stool?
she got kicked out of the bar for shoving german chocolate cake in the bartenders face. we were there less than a minute
Called my house today and my 10 year old brother answered and asked if I was still in jail
I just ate your leftovers whilst watching Garfield and Friends. Thank you across the board.
Talk shit all you want but with my new knife sharpener I have a lethal razor sharp pizza cutter. Fuck with me Mario I dare you!
Randomize
