the only thing i knew about you is that u dated jordan and were potentially interested in a threesome
I can text with my tongue
i was watching some porn this morning and i realized i am blessed with a truly beautiful vagina
Now I have to picture Dave Letterman having sex with all these women. Im the real victim.
you kept running around the room with a flask shouting "so much room for activities!" then someone tripped you and you passed out
Yea. I think between making the bride puke, feeling up the maid of honor, and sleeping with a bridesmaid. I did my part.
We woke up under the ping pong table holding hands.
I don't think child baring hips is a compliment.
No it's ok. I made friends with the guy that always wears helmets to the bar. His name is helmet Harry
You said "sustain yourself" quietly over and over as you fed joeys hamster cashews. Acid you is a trip
I don't like getting sloppy drunk but I don't like getting just half drunk either, I'm way too responsible if my blood alcohol level is below 0.2
This may be a weird question to ask someone who is 21 years old, but are you grounded?
I do not mind being torn from the first touches of sleep to see a man who looks like that
She pregamed while taking a shower. Came out clean and drunk.
Just sent a nude with the caption "seasons greetings from our family to yours"
Randomize
