need another drink. this is the easiest way
she says her boyfriend and her dignity are both out of town tonight
Abreva sucks. I applied it as directed and now it looks like I fed the herpes. They're throwing a party on my bottom lip.
it was like fucking with batman, he had gadgets i never even imagined
while we were having sex she stopped and said, "god is always watching". Then she started again with no other words said. We were fucked up.
I woke up with his wallet, but not him. Gold-digging at it's finest.
It wasn't the stripper that gave you the hickey but I just figured out who did
They wouldn't let me hang out the sun roof and sing apple bottom jeans in the drive thru of hardee's i think i no longer like these ppl
When I found her she was drinking wine out of a plastic bag in a bathroom stall, staring at herself in the mirror and crying hysterically. Cabo does things to a person...
I told him we could use my stove to make weed brownies, from that point on he kept reffering to me as "best pledge ever"
I think he should just go away to a small penis island and never come back
She acted like falling "up" the stairs was a fucking physics phenomenon. I call that Tuesday nights.
Woke up with a bed full of sand...care to explain?
Isnt is self explanatory?
But then our conversations are like black box recordings. Just the stuff you hear when the plane is going down
Don't know where this pizza came from but i got breakfast in bed
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