drinking colt 45 because lando calrissian told me to
just by requesting 'I think we're alone now', not only did you achieve emptying the bar, but you also rubbed it in the owners face.
If it makes you feel any better I'm plucking my mustahce and drinking. Alone.
I cant go down on him yet. All ive had to eat is olives and percocet. semen would only add to tomorow mornings discomfort.
There isn't a single transaction on my online bank account that doesn't involve drugs or alcohol since November 12
I decided that just having that story under my belt and being able to tell it to my grandchildren is worth the regrets of the evening.
I can see why you broke up with her now... it was like having sex with a corpse.
She uses my penis to point at the tv when we talk about the shows. I love her
It's end St Patricks day. I'm gonna need a leash. And a bib. And a rain check on anything considered dignifying.
Haha, you avoided her at all costs. And then she shoved her tits in your face
I was fucking trucked by the swat team last night on State Street after UK won. But I got a picture with the guy afterwards so I forgive him
Just saw a man downtown with a cat just riding on his shoulder like a furry parrot. He may be homeless, but I think he's your soul mate.
Until you've snorted cocaine at 6am before your nursing school clinicals birthing babies you're not on my level
I wish u could call a dildo. Like you do a missing cell phone.
Going on a coke binge the night before your appointment with your therapist (to talk about your sex addiction) is prob not the best idea.
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