if she shaves her mustache, i'll let her give me head
Amanda Bynes on the cover of maxim is my 8th grade masturbation fantasy come to life
Bad idea pregaming graduation.... she just threw up before walking across the stage... i'm gonna miss this
I refuse to go to this wedding alone, or sober. Practice drunk-walking in heels and a Bridesmaid dress begins tonight.
Cocaine Wednesdays have to stop turning into no work Thursday
why is my underwear the only thing i was wearing that smells like vodka?
A gentleman never tells..... therefore i will neither confirm nor deny the attatched photos
Mixed review. I fucked her in the river, but then we were assaulted by ducks.
But break dance skills will only take you so far
Side note: Hot guys are now getting with ugly chicks. Alert the media.
I'm chasing my vodka with snickers.
Can we talk about how she only slept with you because you remind her of a member of a K-pop group?
THEN YOU WILL NOT GET TO SEE MY TITS TONIGHT OR IN THE NEAR FUTURE YOU HEARTLESS BASTARD
Don't worry about me. I am infinite.
How many weight watcher activity points do you think sex is worth?
Randomize
