I just had unprotected sex with a stranger. but i did him wearing nothing but my pearls. so its classy.
at 4 in the morning i heated a family sized mac n cheese for a minute and decided to eat it frozen cuz I didn't wanna wait for that long
so she sprained her ankle somehow and her friend had to carry her out while all 7 of us watched. do we even need to vote on that or is that automatic induction into the hall of shame?
I think he liked me better when I only opened my mouth to suck his dick.
Dude, she introduced me to her best friend form Russia and she was a 10. Her other Russian friend was even hotter. How did communism fail?
I just googled if crying burns calories
I just brought the toaster out onto the porch to light a cigarette, don't talk to me about being desperate.
No worries. It'll grow back. I mean, hey, my eyebrows grew back after he shaved them off. So it's all good.
He broke hus nose arm jousting with the traffic cones... We need to make head shots illegal or get helmets or something
She acts like a 3 year old but with fantastic tits. This girl is the reason women are objectified
Nah. And this is true. It's like you were trained by sexual Jedi or something.
*jedi wave* this is the penis you were looking for
in the midst of studying i picked up my capsule full of untouched weed, popped it open, and whispered "soon" into it. midterms man
This couple is walking their pig around campus
The career specialist read an Onion article to us. Please send help.
You were arrested in a tiara again... maybe you shouldn’t wear one.
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