You act like I was drinking alone...I had the entire Verizon network with me
if I end up fighting someone to save $15 on a toaster oven then something went wrong earlier in life
I love how understanding people are when they hear we first hooked up getting high and watching nature shows
Woke up next to a half eaten California burrito. It was tucked in.
him crossdressing on the weekends is awkward but not a deal breaker for me.
Oprah Winfrey is a jealous, vengeful god
You're going to hell! And you're going to hell! And you! And you. You're all going to hell!!!
I just found a reminder in my phone to ask you about your sex life in 7 years. So how is that going?
Maybe whip a sausage around while you do it and pour some beer on you. Like a German white snake video
I can still be you friend and be there for you. And sometimes get drunk and fuck you.
Ugh, I should just give up, and fuck him in a parking lot, and shave my head and walk naked through the streets of King's Landing.
Lol, yeah it'll be fun,but will it be cereal and dick pics fun?
you do realize the next step is naked mud wrestling, right?
HAMMERED.. I made a peanut butter and jelly sandwich with toilet paper instead of bread...
Well when you come back we can have a huge bitch fit...or get really drunk....whichever comes first
Now the fun stuff starts.
Someone is losing a finger.
Randomize
