yeah but I shoulda known it\'d be bad when he start rubbing my pubic bone instead of the clit! Awkkkkwarddd
If lil wayne asked you to lick him like a lollipop I feel that you would willingly oblige.
Unfortunately I think I would lick most anyone's lollipop.
It's your form of community service; servicing the greater SDSU area.
it's just like freshman year of high school, with more drugs
haha I love it when I find out that girls who were mean to me in middle school are now some random dude's baby mama. thanks, facebook.
the trail of clothing leading from the bed to the door was in the exact order i needed to put them on. underwear near the bed shoes by the door.
I feel like somehow my uterus ended up in my ribcage from all the keg stands i did last night..
Too high to move please buy hi-c and pour it in my mouth in exchange I will marry your first born child
The problem is drunk me is completely unaware how poor I am
It's like they're playing jeopardy and the category is "things that make women dry."
There are two women in my bed. I'm gonna have a bowl of noodles so I can better understand my success.
He told me to be careful with the shrooms because he mostly had caps left. He sounded apologetic but that's the best news all week.
I woke up to pizza pinned to my wall. So that's that.
I know I joke about running from my problems a lot but I'm 3 miles off-campus and need a ride
hey, just so we're clear, next time we go swimming drunk at my house, we have to use the floating chairs instead of my mattress. i'm not sure how to get it out of the pool.
He was singing on top of spaghetti, and then started crying. He said it was the saddest song ever, "so so sad".
Randomize
