Honestly there's alot of things I'm confused about the only thing I know for certain about last night is that I ate pizza
had a guy just try to take his underwear off in the middle of the bar w o taking his pants off. That kind of Sunday afternoon
Going to the market. I need some nachos and a serious re-evalution of my life.
no, throwing your underwear at it is not the solution to everything
Yes and yes. Got taken to a Florida strip club. I desperately want to flood my eyes and ears with hand sanitizer right now.
I bet it kind of sucks while you do community service I'm getting blown in the shower. haha
She was moaning so loud as i walked out of the room her roommates gave me a standing ovation... i think they are next
Bad breakup?
He posted a pic of me fully naked and smiling as he inserted a carrot into my vagina as my FB profile pic and then changed the PW, locking me out of my own account. So 500 of my closest friends, family, and coworkers now have that mental image of me on FB.
Who wants vodka and apple sauce
Because you stood over the Ice luge screaming STONE COLD and poured beer on everyone
I now have a full length bright red cape in my possession. Best sex trophy ever.
Some guy is here using a taser on people. I'm up next
I plan to try out my new vibrator and watch Star Trek: The Next Generation. It's a busy night.
I'm too high and old for this...
Aw. You're having cute FaceTime with your fiance, I'm trying to convince myself not to booty call a 42 year old. #adulting
Randomize
