Btw I've read that book you bought me...And I'm such a bitch now
But I don't think guys love me
never thought i'd see a ''climb of shame'' until she came down from the attic in front of the whole party..
He just made me a heart out of cocaine... i think i'm in love
he said 'i love fucking you, ashley'. it was the most romantic thing he's said during sex because he actually used my name.
i was driving around baked, windows down jamming to third eye blind and eating grapes for 35 minutes before i remembered why i left my house
I thought he put a fake swan in my yard, but no, he put a real life swan in my yard
I tried to take home a cat on broadway last night. I named him Pinocchio and put my purse down on the sidewalk and tried to put it inside it
Thanks for launching me off you reverse cowgirl. I think I chipped a tooth.
Update - might be back in your neighbor's good graces. She liked the framed photo I gave her of me on the tractor with my business out.
A blind guy just told me that even he could see i was gay and encouraged me to chat up the girl behind that counter bc he thinks we'd make a cute couple. Are all Canadians this helpful?!
I've been sleeping with the same person for about two months now, I think I know a little bit about stability and commitment.
Here's a concept though: eating pasta while getting laid
Listen, i know this is weird for you, but as your fuck buddy, id prefer if you didnt fuck her.
Youre asking too much from me
I might be a bit longer... I found a hot guy at the grocery store, so I'm following him and buying stuff that he's buying
we should paint friendship bongs
Randomize
