i have to go see a new gyno today. he's a male. i just took 3 shots of tequila. its almost like freshman year... drink alcohol, meet a strange man, let him play with my vagina.
I only make drug deals in a British accent. It's my way of making sure it doesn't get too sketch.
Just put a sign on a baby carriage that says "all daddy wanted was a blowjob" might get fired.
Just KTHXBAIed an old man for staring at me
I miss the days of selfishly blowing a load in the condom without her knowing and acting all like "we shouldn't do this" so she would get dressed and leave.
Just pretend you're riding a unicorn through space. Thats how I deal with the stirrup situation at the gyno office.
my first words to him the next morning were "do you like magic"?
do you know how much drugs we can buy now that you got that raise at work
You force fed me pizza in bed last night. That was fun
We play beat the clock every morning. When the alarm goes off, she hits snooze and drops her panties. If I can't finish in time to beat the snooze, she jumps in the shower and I've gotta jerk off.
Almost to my house to grab beer. And pants.
I spent the morning naked in her roommates closet because her parents decided to come over after church..
The multiple male orgasm is a real thing. I've seen it. I've caused it. I called him a unicorn.
I mean honestly, what would you have done?
Not screw her in the church house?
too bad burritos don't cuddle back
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