Emee failed...She used my genitals as a tampon
i feel like my life has become an afroman song and idk whether i should be sad about that or not
Psycho is an understatement. U were running around the house screaming IM UNDER THE IMPERIOUS CURSE
I am about to be in my happy place. (the shower with a 6 pack)
im too high. i could barely wash my hair, let alone handle a whole shower
I've been here 20 minutes and some creepy old man told me he wanted to know what my insides felt like. I hate gay bars.
ive decided something. ive accepted you as being gay. but i havent accepted you as a vegetarian yet.
My alarm clock on my phone was changed to Fat Bottom Girls over the weekend, and I just now noticed. I'm actually okay w that after Mardi Gras. Well done, random. Well done.
You ran into the tattoo shop screaming PIERCE MY TITIES
omg so there's this guy on the roof and he just stripped for no reason and now i think he's making out on the rooftop with some other guy? who are these people
For me the most fucked up part of last night was that I know for a fact that you were sober. But your dancing was a close second.
We can only continue to use the "oh what's the difference between circumcised and uncircumcised" for a few more months before people will see through our lies
Okay first of all fuck you and everything you stand for because Taco Bell is amazing.
That was the most spiritually awakened shit I have ever taken.
Seriously. There were about 4 hours in which I swear my nose was not attached to my face.
Randomize
