He just left - my room smells like that cheese they put on nachos and cigarettes and beef
Yo quero taco bell
his facial hair looked like he just ate out someone's ass
You were dancing on the bar and fell off into the arms of the hot bartender. It was like a fairy tale, with more alcohol.
What?? I'm covered in blood at the hospital, I atleast deserve a pic of someones boobs
Just checked my recent transactions online. Between the hours of 1 and 3am on September 30th, I went to 7/11 4 times. Unacceptable.
He was singing Justin Beiber while we did it. I love secure Spanish men
I just learned my tits were fire resistant. I should join the freakin circus
Kriste-san. Brian-sensai going to sleepy times acturry. Kriste-grasshopper will spend fun-fun times with Brian-sensai and glorious redbox movie tomorrow yes?
Most creative movie date proposition... ever.
my suitemate came in my room last night and flashed me. and then she just walked away. deff transferred to the right school
Thursday is not a good day to become a felon... It's bingo night
Feel weird saying this on Facebook, but a dildo collecting demigod sounds like somebody I'd at least hang with for a minute.
You fist bumped my dick last night saying good game. That you'll be back for the 2nd game...
I would have wore underwear last night if I knew I had to change a tire this morning
Its nights like last night that make me want to high five my liver.
If it were up to me his wife would never get his penis again, but I guess they have some sort of arrangement
Yes, an arrangement called marriage
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