Hi
Babe...You're really smothering me right now
I woke up hungover and opened my laptop to find that i had googled alcoholism again
Tequila is the liquid version of celery. I lose more calories during tequila drunk and the following sexual activities than I gain by drinking it...
i shall enjoy my approximately 2 hours of being sober today
Not to make her into that kind of girl, but she did have a condom mural
Judging by the crutches in the living room I take it you two are fine and we aren't going out tonight?
Ok so I could say "im sorry"...but instead ill just say "unsupervised...jager...military guys...green school bus called the juice box...and HUGE dick"
My hanfda are one with the u niverse and I am cirretnly inhaling a couch
I'm taking a new approach to homewrecking... for science. Or I totally would. I have to see what happens between my ex & his brother when he finds out.
Am I really that girl who walks around half naked wearing a cowboy hat begging for liquor at some random guys house
There's nothing worse than carrying your fairy crown and wings home wearing fishnets
I sincerely thought making it to McDonalds by 10:00am was a shoe-in but it appears that I need to adjust my zoom when looking at the map before walking to places.
He didn't have much of a personality. But I had like 100 orgasms, so that's cool.
being broke is really keeping my alcoholism in check
its a recording of you guys having sex?!
its actually 30 minutes of him begging and then 2 minutes of sex.
Randomize
