we're blogging at a bar
Gonna get hammered and start online dating men in prison. But... only the ones who get out within two years.
Girl's gotta have her standards.
I've been thinking about all the girls in my life in terms of applying to college.
Huh?
I guess what im trying to say is that your my safety school.
note to self: Never ask your girlfriend to have a 3some with your ex...
im watching shaqs comedy special. this is how i know im not sober.
I just gave my patient permission to swallow while pregnant. She was so embarrassed to ask...but her bf was really happy with the answer.
Yea i'm supposed to have jury duty on monday. Hope they don't mind me still being drunk.
Na you can't get charged for public intoxication unless you're outside. I checked.
I bought a nasal spray, my nose needs to be in order by the weekend
Sorority life is like alcoholic girl scouts, plus douchebags in polos.
Ecstasy should be its own food group.
It sounds like heaven mixed with world peace and orgasms. The acoustics in this car are awesome. Or it's the weed idk either way it's great
My roommate just caught me cleaning a tostitos queso jar with my hand and eating it. He didn't judge. Bonding moment.
i need to un-sleep with a few of those brothers before we ever go back to that house again. i'm serious. i will not be a fraternity groupie.
It smells like graded cheese and febreze in the family room what the hell have you been up to???
Can we skype so I'm not drinking alone?
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