I cont stop tolking in a british axsent
captain morgan taught me last night that resee's puffs are way better when eaten straight out of the sink.
This isnt meant to be as creepy as it sounds, but do you seriously want a lock of the hair I cut off?
I really want to lead this Amish guy into temptation
don't pay it forward
I eont pay shit forward. told a stranger to call an abulance and peaced
Wow I didn't even consider the possibility of him having ED. I'm gaining so many life experiences from dating an older man
I did my walk of shame through a safeway at 8am to get YOUR hangover bagels. You're welcome asshole
I think we need to stage a munchie intervention for Ben. I just watched him use a tortilla as a potholder to dump water out of his ramen.
Apparently there was a black out and the security alarms went off except I was convinced it was the microwaves and made ben unplug them all then got really frustrated cos he wasnt doing it right
I should probably stop recommending my dentist to the different guys I'm seeing. That could be awkward in the future.
I hope that will b the last time i take off my pants in the chemistry building.
Dude. Don't do acid and go to Disney on ice. Hear my warnings. That snow monster will fuck your shit up.
Unless it has to do with ramen, goldfish, cheese, or rugby, don't talk to me.
If I had a dollar for every functioning brain cell you had I would owe someone a lot of money
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