thanks...oh and i got my period
told you
oh hush
Friend I haven't seen in almost a year just IMed me to let me know that my mom stuck her boob out the window on the freeway at her.
Her mom responded by mooning my mother. I really don't know what's worse.
to cover up your slurred speech you tried talking like the creepy old man from family guy
Is sexting at a funeral morally wrong?
Moms kinda upset I threw up in grandmas bedroom. I think ill stay in tonight.
Its only tuesday and I need a dd home from work. This is getting too easy.
Thank god the bicycalist i hit was on drugs
Listen I know you hate her for what she did but this is getting our of hand. Please please tell me where you hid her wedding dress.
Eye surgery went well. Just can't believe it took getting lasers through my eyes to temporarily stop the vivid sex dreams I was having
It's a low moment when you're looking at your girlfriends tits on your daughter's phone..
she's an english major so her sexts are something i look forward to
Well, I saw an Olympian's genitals tonight, so it can't be that bad.
When one of my seniors asked "Rough night?" I realized my poor decisions involving Tuesday night drinking did not go unnoticed.
After we won I just ran all over campus for a couple hours. Then made out with a guy on a bench
Is it too much to ask to have a life partner who has both male and female sex organs that looks cute and sounds like a female Antonio Banderas and likes to get weird?
Randomize
