And next time, don't pick a fight with me when you're naked. That's just not fair
just had an encounter with drunk people from out of state at dairy queen. they wanted to stay till march to see the high school play.
repeat this after me. period at the beach is better than baby at the beach. breathe. and: period at the beach is better than baby at the beach.
They were scared I was going to get lost last night so they dressed me up as Waldo so someone would always find me.
Whatever she smells like compost and feathers.
I believe they call that patchouli.
I AM CRUING IT IS 93:2 AM AND I AM CYGIN INT BED
If by some world ending natural disaster I get into an actual relationship with this kid, should I tell him the truth about the web of lies I've based our current relationship on?
He has blue eyes of sex and i am powerless against them
Doesn't tell me where my computer chair went but good to know
If we tried baptizing you I feel the water would start boiling around you.
About 98% sure I just walked by some dude jerking it in the library. I'm guessing his college experience isn't going as planned
Jeff brought me a cup of coffee to my desk. He's getting a blow job.
Please tell me I did not drink enough whiskey to think that having sex with my boyfriend while his best friend was on the floor next to us was a good idea.
he was snoring so I have him a bj to wake him up and then told him he had to leave.
I vaguely remember ordering a water at some point last night. It's good to know drunk me can still be responsible.
I don’t care how cute or big a guy is I’m done with drunken hand jobs. It was like I was pulling a nine inch bungee cord for 25 minutes. Now My arm and shoulder is dead
Randomize
