Walk of shame was bad enough, but farting with each step as I walked past his roommates was just not cosmically fair.
do you think women who transgender themselves have the option of getting a circumcised or an uncircumcised dick?
Ummmm yeah ..,.. All three girlfriends I have right now are chatting with each other at the party...... I'll see you on the other side
I asked her if she wanted to make this a permanent exclusive thing instead of a fuck buddy thing, and she just looked at me like I'm an idiot.
That's because you are an idiot.
I chased a girl up a staircase screaming because she had a cardboard cut out of James Dean which, at the time, I believed to my friend being held against his will
Just used "I used to work as an inflatable toy operator" as a pick up line. Freshman frenzy is great...
I'll just have to do enough fangirling for the both of us. Nipples engaged.
Do you know of any good hiding spots in the Atlanta area?
I got to the party and found your shoes in a bag of Funyuns. You weren't even there.
She's not a foreskin expert like you
True love: he brought me a margarita while I was n the shower. He's a keeper.
The paramedics said she just kept whispering "I just wanted to party"
My mother is a bitch. She just outed me to my dad. He wants to meet you by the way...
I ate all your munchie Mac and Cheese cause you left me on the lawn. If you don't want it to happen gain, drag my drunk ass inside next time
I'm with the cops, Trish's gay husband stabbed himself and is framing her for attempt of murder and I'm dressed 4 the club I'm wearing leather pants leather jacket leather boots and black club top. Embarrassed
Randomize
