You dropped me off at the wrong girl's house.
There's no such thing as a "wrong girl" make it happen.
alright see you in the morning.
Well, a cop just pulled up. This could go either way.
I'm considering failing out of my last semester of college just so I can keep fucking him.
The girls we hooked up with were hammered, pushing each other in a shopping cart into the sushi place and through the restaurant... One's a volunteer EMT. God help her patients.
There's a guy in here whose face looks like it would be perfect between my legs.
The site I use to study flash cards keeps showing ads for truck companies hiring drivers. It's like the site is saying "hey, we all know there's no hope for you, just give up and Become a truck driver."
He was peeing on the back wall of a building. He would have been okay if the building hadn't been a police station.
Thou shall not get drunk and hit bitch cup in pong and take shirt off while wearing a see-through lace bra again
The ecstacy made me so dehydrated I started licking condensation off car windows
Well, I got drunk and told my family about what I expected sexually after a good first date.
Are you okay? You're not sitting at home on facebook. I'm worried about you.
I think I fucked the doubts about us out of him
We gotta locate my vibrators and get them stashed away STAT
If you wake up, and some of your hair is singed off, it probably has something to do with the lit cigarette you put in your hair. You said it could double as a bobby pin...?
drunk boyfriend and drunk me are NOT meant for each other
Randomize
