we did anal to Party In The USA and he busted to Firefies .. felt like we were fucking in a middle school dance
i want the original willy wonka imagination song to come on when i take a girl to my room
Drinking with birthday clown in the backyard shed at a 5 year olds birthday party at 12 in the afternoon. My life doesn't need any adjustments
Well the weddings in 4 days so I already got the eightball lined up and the wii fit all warmed up. Still wanna bet I wont lose 20 pounds by the wedding?
Two questions: what are you doing RIGHT NOW? and do you know how to drive a golf cart?
This coming from the girl who broke up with a guy because she found out he played the tuba in middle school.
He is just lying there. People are throwing money onto his chest as they walk by...
Tell me why I woke up spooning a hamburger like it was a teddy bear.
Can we put this graduation on the shelf figuratively and go drink
I was the girl at the bar last night passing out free condoms and making sure everyone knew how to use them to keep the population down
I swear to god, my hangover cure is a green tea and a 15 minute twerkout. works every time
would it be uncouth to smoke a joint during office hours
This is why you're my favorite TA
I went to work hungover and threw up in the break room. Told them I was pregnant and then said I quit. I don't have a job now, thanks vodka.
I think our maternal nature is best focused on grown ass men and cats.
Who knew she had talents apart from chugging wine spritzers
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