In similar news, my cock is bigger than the plane that landed in the hudson.
I couldn't tell if he was hitting on me or if he was just mentally challenged.
you left with a lisa lampanelli lookalike... i hope she was atleast funny
We're going clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
What will that accomplish?
It will accomplish clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
Tidal wave of highness just hit. Find shelter and catnip. gloves. zebra striped car washes.
I just dropped my cookie in my glass of milk and looked at it for ten minutes. Thanks for telling me you made weed cookies.
You yelled to anyone that tried to help you "I have a burrito, what else could a girl want?"
Stop jerking off to vines my recommended list on YouTube is getting weird.
Damn it. If you ever throw me again, take video.
And two different second-graders said my make up was pretty. It's left over from last night bc I woke up 5 min before I was supposed to leave.
Hey.... can you explain to me why when I woke up this morning my cell phone background had been changed to me getting a piggy back ride from a drag queen?
I'm too picky for internet dating and by picky I mean psycho.
He kept saying "i'm lost" while he was sitting on his couch...
He goes "what would you say if I told you I like to get it in?" def a potential soulmate right there.
I woke up with eight different shoes in my bed what the hell happened last night
Randomize
