I just broke up with my girlfriend lets go find strippers that need rent money.
it was worse than that time i tried giving evan head 4 days post nose job.
Just found the book "How to Stay Christian in College" on my roommates desk. At a loss for words...
He tried to blame not having a condom on the economy.
Neighbors just bought a new bong. Got high with them and we decided to name it "Gary colemans sweet sugarlumps" these guys are hilarious
Obama is so hot when he ends wars.
Three guys came up to me at the bar and started dancing on me, while screaming "Johnson's girl." That's the last time I sleep with a freshmen.
So our 'date' consisted of getting drunk off champagne at four and photo-bombing the shit out of tourist's pictures all over the city. Thoughts?
I may have to steal the boat sober, but I feel that would be harder to explain.
The window painters skipped us. They didn't know what to do with the giant SMOKE WEED in the window. So they just skipped it.
Wow, I just woke up in this conference with the woman beside me staring at me. This is what happens when hungover people sit in warm rooms...
Incase you were wondering. Cooking naked turns into sex. Sex and cooking may lead to house fire....
CODE RED CODE RED MY VIBRATOR IS BROKEN THIS IS NOT A DRILL
I lost my wolf penis dildo in my garage. I should probably find it before I resume my garage sale tomorrow...
She told me the next morning I stared at her tits for like 15 minutes with binoculars from only a few seats away.
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