No more Irish car bombs ever.
Dude... there's chunks of hair all over the floor, and no one knows how they got there. You guys just made out right?
New rule : you aren't allowed anything . Ever .
Dude Eric's high and buying everyone taquitos. How much room do we have in the freezer?
At one point, the guy you were fucking high-fived with the guy I was fucking. We should hang out with them again?
"Home for the holidays" isn't clearance to fuck the recently 18 year old high schooler right?
Nope, his last birthday was.
Everything is just really out of control. I hear puking from three different parts of the house. Roger has black eye from being punched. Kaiser tried shaving his head, but somehow burned himself. Music is bumping, but everyone is either puking and calling out for help or blacked the fuck out.
Over 50% of the drunkest nights I have ever had began with me saying "I'll just drink my dinner" to you.
We were having sex in the gardens when the grounds keeper walked up on us. He gave me a thumbs up and walked away
You, me, naked, mistletoe, fifth of jack, gallon of lube, condoms, Cheetos, handcuffs, rope, along with no morals, inhibition or judgment. That's all I want for Christmas.
They only searched every other person. But I sacrificed myself to get our vodka across the border
He is so pussy whipped she has made him change his name to Toby
I am stoned, not wearing a bra, and a woman. There is no way in fuck I am getting on a fucking bus.
I don't know. I just have an affinity for nudity when I'm drunk.
How the hell am I supposed to tell that to a group of eight year olds?! It was three in the afternoon for fucks sake!
That's not "anything", that's you deep throating a mozzarella stick.
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