whoever gets the blood i just donated is getting a shit ton of free thc
Hey i just realized that im masturbating in the exact same kind of chair that they are doing it on in this porno
I'm a gentlemen, chivalry is what i do, i'll open the door, pull out your chair, buy your drinks, i'll even go down first, but when it comes to mario kart, i draw the line. I'm sorry but i just can't let you beat me at mario kart
Sorry about bonging beers with your mom but in all fairness you were late...
just woke up to a get well card i wrote myself when i was drunk. it was by the advil. i am a cocky bitch.
He told me I had nice tits + they have a great shape. + then proceeded to flatten my boob + show me what the gross tits he's seen look like.
I doubt were getting our security deposit back... the toilet just fell off the wall
I'm okay with corrupting his young mind.
Ew! He's just a child!
AND I'M GONNA SHOW HIM HOW TO MAKE ONE.
Is YOLO really just a socially acceptable way to say you enjoy putting things up your nose?
I can't tell if I have the Pizza Hut shits or beer shits
sitting in the kitchen naked and eating stirfry, random dude left my room saying thanks and gave me a bottle of wine. explain...
We need to get fucked up again and play games like "save the tequila but dodge the knife"
Was just trying to have a normal "I fucked you without a condom" adult conversation and she flipped
Also this just in, I think you could see my sequins underwear that say unwrap me through my leggings all day while I hung out with his family
Now, I know I say this a lot, but you've obviously never seen my penis.
Randomize
