if your leaving for the weekend then im farting on your pillow
Do you think Patty Mayonase ever went down on Doug?
and i forgot to tell you that my armpit hair is now completely grown back. man i love winter.
I woke up with a picture of my dick as my background. still wondering if it was a good night or not.
he started fingering my stomach rolls instead of my vag... am i really that fat?
Wouldn't pinatas filled with coke be awesome idea for cinco de mayo?
So many people have lost their virginity on my futon... I think it is only the right thing to bronze it and put it on display
He came in my eye, I lost my earring and all of his friends saw me topless. Happy New Year to you as well.
This little shit keeps eating the playdoh so i replaced the green with wasabi from work. Wonder what his parents are gonna think when he burns his soft palette?
Your smile makes me feel like I'm frolicking through a field of gummy bears.
I don't want my liquor store dad to judge me...
after you got high, you started to make guac with your bare hands and said: "there's soda bubbles in my legs"
Whatever. I'll take my new fine ass dick sucking nails elsewhere.
As a gentleman whose genital hole is relatively small, you could imagine my reaction
The dog destroyed my vibrator and swallowed several pieces. Vet gave us a laxative so now I’m checking lots of dog shit and having no orgasms. Plus the cute vet knows I don’t get enough dick, so that’s just great
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