laying in bed listening to christian music, jealous of the hope they have for their life. also need to beat off, can i think about you?
no.. I went home. Puking up hot dogs and lemon tart isn't as lovely as it sounds.
why are there post-it notes all around the apartment labeled where you guys had sex and in what position
I just found a 1/2 inch of mimosa in my shoe.
You should get more absorbent shoes.
you will always have a special place in my vag
Even though he was watching you pee on his bedroom floor, you kept denying it and saying he was dreaming
Just from watching vine I come to conclusion that all pornstars are dog hoarders.
You should make us a hot pocket to split while I go throw up.
I woke up with a dick pic from the ex-Mormon via email. Not really what I wanted to see before my first cup of coffee this morning, but I gotta say, I'm impressed.
I'm trying to find some better sex background music so his neighbors don't hate us. This is tedious.
I also need to get my life together but instead I just eat spoonfuls of Nutella. We can't win 'em all
He went down on me for an hour and a half. He needs to get promoted more often.
You have cats and a ten year IUD. Embrace it.
long story short... we may or may not have lost your car.
She picked a quarter off the floor, kissed it "for luck" and won the $20,000 jackpot. She bought dinner and stayed sober to drive us home. This is a typical example of a visit with my sister.
Randomize
