i didnt know what to say other then wrong hole.....after that the moment was ruined.
Hurry up I might actually study if I am left alone
I need Christmas break to be over. I'm tired of fucking my old High School girlfriends
this is the second time this week i got a blowjob from a crying girl.
You threw an open can of pop at me while I was lying on the floor babbling and drooling about how I need to be alone forever, me and my leaking face.
I just listened to "Eye of the Tiger" and did 5 shots to prep going over to see him.
Second time this week margarita night turned homoerotic
I can't wet the bed. That was the old me. I'm grown
Oh my god
I got my first tattoo & injured myself while having sex in a national monument. I say we consider this weekend siezed.
I can't tell if I'm still on the hangover from last night, or if I'm experiencing the one from tomorrow, because it was so powerful that it actually traveled back through time...
This dude has batman tighty whities on over his cargo pants and he has the nerve to yell "fuck you bitch" up at my window.
I'm playing trivia and drinking margaritas so now is not a good time.
The night's not a success unless at least 60% of participants wake up with bite marks on their genitals the next morning.
I don't know what kind of parties you go to, but we should hang out more often.
from across the room i saw you look into your beer and whisper "i love you"
No one knows how to work that "I pulled a muscle in my leg" drunk swagger like you can
Randomize
