kristin has been a bad kristin
Girls gone wild is like the hills, except sexy and it doesnt suck
i want two things in life...emily to stop talking and a block of cheese.
Did you know that when you swallow it's like 60 calories!?
That's okay, it's all protein anyway.
can u get pink eye on your cock?
U just looked at me and said "wake me up when I'm done eating"
He asked me why my bellybutton was so ugly... and wondered why i wasnt in the mood anymore.
She said she couldn't find my penis because my arm was in the way. That was my penis
Every man deserves at least one moment like that
you were sat in the corner crying until someone gave you a baguette, which you then tried to feed to the duck doorstop.
I regret nothing
Last night was the twilight zone. We hungout with our 45 year old future selves and tried to fuck everything with a dick. Lets move forward from this.
You made a course evaluation for your vagina? Wow. You really are a professor now.
Need your help. Dad's drunk and trying to build a still in the basement.
NM he's asleep in a pile of towels. They need to ease people back into Hockey Night in Canada.
MY BRAIN IS OSCILLATING. DOES THAT EVEN MAKE SENSE
I went to BBQ fest on Wednesday and came home wearing a different shirt, so I think I did some good damage.
The only thing I want for my birthday is a divorce from you.
Randomize
