They have to be talking about me. I never heard that statement until I was born.
i spent my evening searching "the sims having sex" on youtube
we're no longer friends
and then he said that the only reasonable explanation as to why I got swine flu was because all I ever do is join the bandwagon
Well, it's 24 hours till finals. I need high A's on all of them and I still am not sure where exactly on campus most of my classes took place.
I hope so. I just start to question my lifestyle when i pee on coffee tables
The cop and I then joined forces to get you up off the sidewalk.
last night a police horse bit me when i was wasted. even the animal kingdom knows i'm no good
She insisted on cleaning her room in the dark. 5 minutes in, she forgot what she was doing and started putting shirts on instead of hanging them up.
Dude so last night I was eating out my gf and her kitten climbed onto my back and fell asleep. AND SHE DIDN'T NOTICE FOR LIKE 10 MINUTES
You poured 151 in your eye, ran face first into a tree, fell down, then threw a lawn chair at the dog...all before passing out in the hallway and pissing yourself. There is no way to redeem yourself.
I need to go home for the safety of everyone in a 10 mile radius, especially me
He put your tit in his mouth. Professionalism is out the window after that.
okay valid
I wasnt 2 drunk i sobered up around the time we were shooting the fire extinguishers
She got a boob job, dumped her husband, became a stripper, got a DUI in her Porsche and is now dating her lawyer
I’m making her my life coach if med school doesn’t work out
Is there a subtle way to tell him he needs to hydrate? 8 years of yoga and kegels. He has no idea what I’m going to do to him this weekend
Randomize
