I'm dying. Please wear something slutty to my funeral.
SEEEEXXX PLEASE
it sounds like her vocal chords are covered in pudding and rocks. come get me.
those are such fre$h shoes
going to ignore the use of the word "fresh" in a sentence that isnt related to produce and/or other food stuffs and especially the part where you replaced an "s" with a dollar sign
It was then that he suggested we all nibble ears. A nibble circle.
It was fun until I shot a pea out of my nose while throwing up. Left over tuna casarole at 3Am was a terrible choice.
scratched cornea got me an eyepatch and a blowjob from a girl with a thing for pirates
he tried to do a one handed cartwheel to showoff but knocked himself out cold. fuckin jagerbombs will kill that man.
hanging out with you guys is like living the wikipedia entry for drugs...not sure i can handle that tonight.
I've never felt more disgusting in my life. And I'm including the time I snuggled that homeless woman in the puddle of my whiskey vomit.
we were looking for paper towels to wrap his hand and i yanked a drawer out of the cabinet, it was fun so we just kept doing it. things escalated and long story short, he isn't gettin his security deposit back
Haha sweet. I'm being the Mad Hatter. I'll be drinking out of a tea cup all night. Or at least until I inevitably lose it, break it, or use it as a weapon.
I don't have any plans for New Year's except watching anime and drinking until I can't read the subtitles anymore.
why is there glitter IN my vagina????
If I die bedazzle my coffin please.
Randomize
