he is naked. in. my. bed. happiest day. of my. LIFE.
so basically i'm the" little sister", he's the "big brother" and we just fucked
just woke up in my neighbors garage.
scratch that. I'm like 6 miles from my house in a random garage.
It started as a joke and ended with a trip to the emergency room, a broken macbook and a gigantic hole in the concrete of my driveway.
i'm surprised you didn't wake up. like i literally came when he was fingering me as i was spooning with you and all you did was mumble "that's a good idea, mom" and pull the sheets away from me.
Just saw a crackhead get taken down by pd in the canal. Its offically spring
On a side note the mornings you do so much Xanax that you wake up totally at one with the universe and feel invincible are great
Doing a circuit workout and using a power hour playlist for my 1 minute timers. I am getting old. creative, but old.
Oh my god. That was the best half-hour of my life that didn't involve genitals.
Here's what I don't understand. How does anyone watch you eat mayo for 12 minutes and then ever fuck you again??
They were assless. I wore assless football pants.
Sometimes a man just deserves to get woken up with a blowjob.
So about that you can bill me for the chair but it was David's idea to jump from the window sill into the washer with "clothing pillows of cloudiness" to land on to get ahold of him you have to phone his mother
I just talked to her she really hates you like a lot
RESPOND QUICKLY THIS IS AN EMERGENCY!!! LITERALLY AN 11 INCH DICK!!!!! HELP.
They say you need two forms of ID, but in reality 1 nice set of tits works every time
Randomize
