another moral hangover. fuck.
Facebook is asking me which Pokemon I'd be. Is there one whose only moves are gay sex and reading Adrienne Rich?
I told him we couldn't have sex because I was ovulating and "I come from fertile people."
Look what our sorority has done to us...we're hitting on girls in hopes of getting an awesome little.
Im not gonna remember this tomorrow but the real money is in coke i wanna get a dark wood desk and cell coke then i can own taco bell and the xxl chalupa will be mine
what is the most politically correct way to ask if he still hangs out with the guy that has blue hair and make meth in his car?
So hungover. Sitting in class about to puke during this ladys flute performance. Not sure why were having a flute concert in biology
You threw up with your ski mask on still.
okay the fridge is completely filled only with alcohol. Not even exaggerating. There is no food.
Sometimes I wonder if we're going to make it to 40.
So I got lost trying to find you guys and ended up proposing to a bride in a bachelorette party with a condom.
A sexy devil squat down and peed in front of Tom Hanks from Castaway.
I actually haven't slept with anyone in a while. I think my whore phase is just seasonal.
i just really want to fuck a guy wearing lederhosen
it'll be sexier than it sounds, i promise
She played the piano. I played the piano. She got on top of the piano. I got on top of her.
so do you remember taking your shirt off and just standing in your bra at the bar or no?
Randomize
