garbage
garbage dick
rubbish cock
you win
walked into a party last night, i saw 3 ex gfs standing in a circle talking to each other...that's the quickest u-turn i've ever made in my life.
First guy to fuck a girl in the new tool shed. Her underwear is on the shovel hook.
i failed horribly. studying for that final was as pointless as Vinnie is to Jersey Shore
Google Chrome's "top 8 most visited sites" page has become my motivation to stop masturbating
he got his own cum in his own eye. TWICE. how do you make that mistake again?
Ever have those mornings where you just can't wait to puke in the shower?
You're a college freshman. Its your job to be pathetic. And drunk. But mostly pathetic
Do you think if you have sex with a girl twin, her twin brother feels it to? Woke up at her house and they both have a look of disappointment on their faces.
Jesus christ it's been two texts and we are already talking about dildos
And I told him that even though were not together, if he has sex with anyone I would have sex with someone else, video tape it and send it to him.
That guy drinking savagely was actually at his buddy's gay bachelor party in the male stripper section. He came over to the chicks side so we drank with him.
He had some sort of penis-related post traumatic stress disorder, but body shots seemed to wake him up
I woke up today in my boxers hugging a log and realized that I think I've gotten close enough to nature. I really need to stop doing shrooms with you
I couldn't figure out what was more important, finishing the shot or putting out the fire on my leg.
So I just accidentally joined a bar crawl and got a free shotski of Jameson. I love life.
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