I feel like abortions should bother me more
I just found all of my Mary-Kate and Ashley movies. Can you say drinking game?
Only you can can turn Jenga into a drinking and then a sex game.
She was mid-sentence and then BOOM the hammock broke off the tree. I about pissed myself. Hot Sprite and Vodka make the world go round.
Having my alarm go off at 3:30 makes me wanna rip my dick off and shove it through my eye socket
we played a my little pint drinking game. It was awesome.
As part of the off-hours team building exercises, I had my new coworkers figure out to push me back to the hotel from the nearby bars in a shopping cart every night for a week.
He will be forever remembered as "birthday failure" ...Got him to pierce his tongue in my bathroom, but not sleep with me......
Can't trust a bar that doesn't have fireball
I mean if you can't appreciate a good looking dick then just get out.
Had dinner with a married woman but didn't have sex with her. Tweeted at Mike Pence to apologize anyway.
You tore a poster off a lamppost and ATE IT. That drunk.
JB just got pulled over and I am in the trunk...... this isnt good
So unofficially, he told me he deleted tinder because of me. I think that's a pretty romantic gesture in 2018.
We have been dating for 5 months. I'm friends with his sister. Yet my number in his phone is still saved as "hot bartender"
Randomize
