you definitely held a convo with a hobo
we have a secret handshake
Do you think they'll have a special part during the BET awards for Michael Jackson even though he turned white?
shes trying to light up her bowl in front of the fan. everytime it blows it out she just gives it a dirty look.
You probably havent been upstairs if you think that the microwave missing its door is bad
I've officially moved beyond college drinking. I just got business drunk at an internship seminar.
sometimes you just have to pull up your panties, blow a kiss to the security camera and walk out of the alley like nothing happened.
it was like watching bambi learning to walk, if bambi was 22 and a high functioning alcoholic.
You just kept saying "they don't make cigarettes for squirrels. Yet."
just letting you know, you took a hit of the blunt while sleeping. happy birthday
I heard liver failure is in for 2012 anyways
I have just disproved the common belief that it is impossible to have mediocre sex in a fire truck.
The fire in my vagina flames on. Fucking terrible firefighter
Yea... you were given too many get out of jail free cards. God just gave up on you having a healthy and happy vagina.
The only thing I had in my freezer before today was patron and cheese.
There's a 50-50 shot that I will wake up with an ass tattoo tomorrow.
I dont understand why i cant be a wizard
Randomize
