I think the neighbors upstairs are trying for more kids. I want to run up there and yell "mazal tov!"
My RA just gave me tips on how to have discreet shower sex. Were we that loud?
I guess you don't realize how much twelve bags of chips are, until they're all over your floor.
Be here at 3:30. We'll find out how much beer can fit in a Mini Cooper.
he left his wallet here so lets treat ourselves to a lunch for the lack of penis we both had deal with
The best part is when you puked in your slurpree and the 7 eleven guy still made you pay for it
I found your wallet in my underwear drawer......... Don't worry I don't plan on asking any questions
I wonder what chicks would think if they learned that when we add them on fb we email their bikini pics to each other.
When I said tequila slammers would be the death of me, I didn't intend it to be today. Oh god.
What's the procedure for answering a booty call from someone under house arrest?
So, I'm about to take my pants off in the Walmart parking lot, when am old lady parks next to me. I'm all the way in the back next to the semis. What the hell?
I had sex with him for the first time drunk, dressed in a toddler overall tutu costume, at 2pm. Horrible start.
I like it here so far, only people are a lot less accepting of my terrible decisions and it's cramping my style
We're friends with benifits... The benifits being I'm fucking her boyfriend
Can you send me the picture of me licking the cows udders?
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