i'm really high, and this is sooooooooooo important. how many frosties does it take to fill a bathtub?
I wish i could put a picture of my ass of my resume...that seems to be the only way i will ever get hired
found a pic of my little bro & his girl naked. he got the brains and the huge junk gene. I hate him
He's the equivalent of a body pillow and a dildo. But still funny. We have good pillow talk.
Apparently william has a "couch montage"...an album of facebook photos of himself on different couches in various states of happiness and despair. A heartwrenching journey through what was clearly a significant part of his life. I'd mock him more but I think the fact that I looked through it means he's already won
the only way to explain how i feel is someone rolled me down a big fucking hill and then a dog came a took a huge ruthless shit in my mouth at the bottom
It's the only time I've ever felt manly shitting myself
Is it rude to ask for an autograph after giving him a blowjob in their hotel's hot tub?
My bad man. I was at a strip club, and apparently it's like a big deal to take your phone out in one of those places.
I'm full of champagne and rage, of course I'm showing up at his house.
My dry spell starts kindergarten this fall...
They grow up so fast.
I slept with my wedding DJ..... I think this means my life has come full circle
yeah but really his dick tasted like soap. like i was blowing a bar of soap
idk what to be more embarrassed/confused about, that i lost my underwear or that i woke up covered in fried rice
Btw I puked in your glovebox
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