super hot butfun
Oops. What a difference a comma and a space make.
Im so hungover
Come over i have rolls
Ecstasy rolls or Challah rolls?
I wish I has some fucking Fairy God Parents, I want a kit kat so bad.
a drug dealer just gave me his business card. it had his face on it drinking a 40oz
I'm using process of elimination to determine which of our neighbors i fucked last night.
Just ran interference for her again. Sometimes i wonder how many times in my life i'll have to be a cock block at the clinic
honestly I asked the same thing when we had our slip n slide and margarita party
U asked everyone for their hoodies so u could "safely hug the cactus"
We're playing fucking games. GAMES. THIS IS BULL SHIT. IM GOING TO THROW UP ON THE BABIES AND LEAVE.
I think there's a website warning girls about me based on the 4 who approached me separately tonight and called me evil. Fuckyoudave.com?
I'm doing blow on my fuzzy rug
Come join me
I screamed "I want dick!" in the middle of the intersection. So many hot guys. I wish you were here.
Just kidding. Don't worry, you're getting sugar and orgasms for Valentine's day.
I'm in Florida in a retirement community the fuck am I supposed to do but watch tv and disgrace Jesus
if having to see my ex’s dick once in a while is the price I pay to the universe for making my life go a little smoother, I’ll take it
Randomize
