k, so I just picked a four leaf clover, then saw my dads penis. Lucky? I think not.
did you know they have Ed Hardy school supplies at Target? it's like folders and notebooks for little douchebags in training.
i bet if teenage jesus was here he would do a shot with me
i hope not, i just know that at one point I was sitting on the bathroom floor eating bugles and crying because i had no one to show that it looked like I had witch nails when i stuck them on the ends of all ofmy fingers.
The fact that you think you peed off a roof shows you shouldn't have been on a roof.
Decided to go explore a half built apartment complex at 4 a.m and leave a 3 block obstacle course in the alley ways on the way home.
I am not ready to suck todays dick. Todays dick just laughed and came on my face.
i've never been that scared in my life. i ran naked into the corner and he just stood there trying to shield his boner from the light.
I had 2 bags of iv saline fuilds for brunch and the buffet at the strip club for dinner. happy easter.
I just got invited to party with a bunch of elderly lesbians I am in no position to offer life advice
she doesn't even know what year it is. She just stumbles around life with a bottle of rum
Regardless of how one feels after a break up, whiskey must be consumed.
Stop confusing me with every girl you know that doesn't like sex.
How do you explain to your kids that you met their mother well you were giving her a gynecological exam??
He was semi blacked out in the hallway with a bucket, calling for me while I had sex with his best friend in the very next room. Why do you let me do these things?
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