Going back to my hometown to drink absinthe with highschool boys. Remind me to evaluate this decision tomorrow.
fighting downstairs. join me tonight to hear their makeup sex. also, let's make skittles vodka.
you traded sex for a burrito?
So they call this "a walk of shame" but fuck that...this walk is fantastic. What kind of debbie downer came up with that name?
both the worst and best vomit ever... it was extra chunky and thick cause of the sausage... but it also tasted like delicious sausage... also cause of the sausage
There was a community pot of Ramen, and if you were in the pool you were either fully clothes or ass naked.
you do realize that we pretended we were worms for like 10 minutes and inched around on the ground, don't you?
Times like this, when you talk openly about Tinkerbell being your spirit animal, are times when I'm allowed to question your sexuality.
It was all cool until he grabbed my vag and started screaming: THIS IS MINE.
Finally hooked up w/ that yoga instructor chick. Got a little more than I expected. Like a full on bush more than I expected. How do you tell a girl that her bush scares you?
My first drink last night was a 2-liter of jameson and coke. So hung over it hurt to put my pants back on
I remember him going "OH SHIT" when he saw you straddling me on the table. And it was like the best feeling ever.
You shouldn't play strip poker when you're having a wet fart kind of day.
you are the only girl i know that would bring a plate of cookies to a hook up. but they were awesome. thanks. next time cupcakes?
i asked your drunk ass where the fuck you were going and you screamed “WENDY’S BITCH”.
Randomize