peeing in bathroom at penn station and the homeless man next to me is combing his beard with a fork...god I love new york
I had a fork in my beer hand and just stabbed my tongue.
everyone made a circle around them and startd chanting fight fight. they wernt fighting, they were dry humping
i pretty much saved your life. you were so conviced that your nail polish remover bottle was "Vodka Lemon"
The karaoke bar doesnt have electric avenue. Ill just have to pick another song and sing the lyrics to electric avenue
Henry's handball, Tiger Wood's Car Crash, Roger Federer losing ... That's it....I'm throwing my Gillete away
September 16th, captains log. I awoke in a daze, not sure of my location
I have now hooked up with 8 of the Apostles. I have no idea where I'm going to find a guy named Bartholomew.
lets just use each other and get past this awkward stage. forget my name.
i think this is the gayest thing you've ever shown me. and i'm pretty sure you've sent me pictures of a dude sticking his dick in a horse's nose.
Hahahahahahhajahahahahajajjajahjahahajahahajajahahahajjajajahahjajajajajahahahajjjajajaahhahhahahahahahahahaha dominos taxi
After being his wingman last night, I've decided I will never talk about becoming a lesbian ever again. Picking up chicks is way too hard.
I did the walk of shame in nothing but a sleeping bag and now I'm on my way to pick up plan B. Let's not make a habit of this.
Sounds like a good New Years
Those thigh tattoos deserve the handsomest of grins between them. Dont settle.
Never in my life did I expect to see Eric's mom in a cheerleader outfit along with other women
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