it was a shit show
We all have our days. But yours might be on the internet.
so are u like ashamed lol?
not really. i dont look at it as being homeless. im just going to pretend im on an extended camping trip
come over. we are watching hoarders and playing i spy.
Eating doritas dunked in queso con salas. Salllas. Salska. Salsa. Got it. Shhiitt. Salsa con queso. That's better. I'm hot pink socks.
i wrote her a fucking poem. i better get laid for that
WHYAREWHITEGUYSSOBADINBED?! What the fuck went wrong, evolution?
My car smells like beer, you're here in spirit
I really just want to eat 20 mcnuggets and slap everyone with the box when I'm done.
Halfway through the blowjob she stopped and said 'Wait I know this dick'.
Henceforth: booty calls will now be referred to as "deliveries of anatomy". That is all.
My sobriety has gotten out of control. I think I need an intervention.
I just moved my 11am hair appointment to 8am so I could blackout at noon. Who am I?
I can't hang out with this penis. I'll start thinking I like the person it belongs to.
Hey, thanks for helping me this morning
Always a pleasure to feed you bread as your body lay crumpled on the floor.
I wore my lizzie mcguire socks to the bar last night. Because that's how i get all the ladiez
Randomize
